I’ve been Collared 5 times in SL. Each time, I learned a little more about it. I’ve learned that completely trusting the person you let hold your Collar is extremely important. I’ve learned that it’s very hard to not fall completely in love with your Master or Mistress. I’ve learned the difference between being a Submissive and being a Slave. I’ve learned that no matter how hard I try or how willing I am to try, I can not be Dominant. I am most definitely Submissive. I’m okay with that though. I’m okay with the person I’ve become through being Collared. I’m more than okay with the one who holds my Collar now, which as you all know by now is Snow Alchemi.
Ever since the day I asked Snow to own me, every moment of it has been good for me. I don’t mean the physical stuff, although I’d be lying if I said that part hasn’t been awesome. I meant it’s been beneficial to me in that Snow has helped me grow as a person. She’s helped me learn to not let people walk all over me and treat me like shit. She’s taught me to stand up for myself. She’s pushed me out of my comfort zone in every good and positive way possible. The time I was Collared before Snow, he ordered me to do things I wasn’t comfortable with. He wasn’t happy with just me and most times I felt like I wasn’t good enough for him. I’m not exaggerating either; I know this for a fact because of the things he asked me to do. I didn’t feel comfortable with him. That’s one of the reasons I decided to end everything with him.
With Snow, however, it’s the opposite. I know I’ve talked about her a lot, but she deserves to be talked about in a positive way. Anyway, she has never asked or told me to do anything I wasn’t completely comfortable with. She has never treated me badly. She’s never neglected me or left me behind or put me aside. She’s the best Mistress I could ask for. I’m completely comfortable with her, and I know I could tell her anything and she won’t judge me or put me down for it. Like I’ve said, I trust her completely. I feel extremely lucky to have her as my Mistress.
If you ask me though, Snow and I are more than that. We’re more than sex. We’re more than Domme and Sub. We’re more than the conventional relationship. I rarely see myself as deserving of such an amazing woman, but she assures me I am so I must be doing something right! *giggles* She’s so amazing. Since she became the only one who holds my Collar, I feel like we’ve grown closer. I feel like I’ve been that much more willing to do things for and with her because I don’t have someone else to answer to. So even though I’m Collared and technically tied down and tamed (which I thought could never happen!), I feel liberated and free in a way because like I said I’m so comfortable with her.
I like being Collared. I feel safe, loved, and wanted. I feel secure. It gives me a self-esteem boost to know that someone thinks highly enough of me to Collar me and let me in and trust me like that. Trust is so important to me. Especially mutual trust like Snow and I have. I have that awesome feeling that I’m gonna be Collared by her for a long time, if not for the rest of our SLives.